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Phrasea Ex Scribilis

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After many consideration and preponderation, I decided to create my personal fan fiction. While I wasn't exactly sure on what I should write about, or at what degree I should relate it to Guild Wars. The result is the most pathetic excuse for a story that I have written in all my life. If I ever reuse this characters I will label this story as non-canon.

Well I'm not the one that should be judging this, so I leave the critics, or lack of them, for you guys. And another thing. I'm not an native English speaker so please forgive me of any verb misuse or typo you find.

And now some heads up on some of the characters and places.

Current Cast of Characters:

[B]Naquaelin[/B] - A cheerful yet demented young girl, best known for her psychotic behavior, and the main character of this story. One day she decided that she should go on a trip after being suggested by her friend that the Underworld would be the best place to visit first, she brands it as a too common place where "everyone goes" and decides to go visit other Netherworlds instead.

[B]Madling[/B] - Naquaelin's "so-called" friend. A weird creature that usually shows himself only to Naquaelin. He and his spawns live in the forest near her house and agreed to befriend Naquaelin if she told them stories and feed them regularly. He often requests Naquaelin's soul in exchange for all sorts of things, but she says his friendship is all she needs from him.

[B]Neiade [/B]- Naquaelin's best friend. A self-taught wizard apprentice and a legendary fisherwoman, known to use a magical rod called "The Grasp of Tagus" both for fishing and spell casting. The voice of reason and the last shred of sanity you will be able to grasp in this story.

Places Currently Used In This Story:

[B]Augrepht[/B] - A countryside Netherworld dreaded by many Planar Cartographers, though nobody knows why. It's also the birth place of Naquaelin and her twenty one brothers and sisters.

That's about it. Now on with the story!

[QUOTE=Kailden Jera][I][B]To my loyal servants:[/B]

Always keep a safe distance between your eyes and your computer's screen. And remember to do a fifteen minutes break in every two hours of playing.

Well... Keep on with the good work.[/I][/QUOTE]

[B]Chapter 1 - Another Normal Day[/B]

Far away, in the outskirts of the Mists lies a dreadful yet insignificant Netherworld, not bigger than your average moon, called Augrepht. For many, Augrepht is not even worth mentioning, and many planar cartographers avoid it at all costs. Why? Well... How the heck should I know? I can barely cartograph my home continent.

Ahem... Anyways, in this Netherworld, lives a young girl named Naquaelin. She lives with her mother and her other twenty brothers in a small house in Augrepht's countryside, near a village called Auphix.

In a day like many others, Naquaelin woke up after a good night's sleep. She walked out the bed and stared at the window, then she opened it. She was dress with a long pink nightshirt fashioned with blue cloth flowers. The wind coming out of the window blown her very tangly white hair, as much a "bad hair day" hairstyle allows it. No sun was rising as Augrepht was always under a permanent twilight.

-Good morning world!!! -She screamed.
-Shut up! -Shouted a neighbor. -People are trying to sleep here!
-Sorry... -Apologized Naquaelin followed by a giggle.

[I]"Three hours and a bubble bath later."[/I]

Naquaelin walked out of the bathroom, now wearing a much decent hairstyle, white colored long hair fashioned with blond highlights. Already dressed up with a blue set of clothing made of a guise, gloves, boots and a skirt, she walked downstairs to the kitchen.

-Mom! What's for today's breakfast? -Asked Naquaelin.
-I spent the night baking pies for today! I think there's still a slice of old pie in the fridge. -Said Naquaelin's mother from upstairs. -Make sure you eat something!

Naquaelin opened the fridge. It was almost empty, only an Ice Imp and a single slice of Shrubbery Pie could be seen.

-I hate Shrubbery Pie... -Said Naquaelin.
-Wrrrry... Vrry, grrahl vryy? -Uttered the Imp.
-Sure... You can have it. I hate dirt in my pie anyway. -With that said she fed the pie to the hungry Imp who ate it right away. She then closed back the fridge.

She walked to the front door. There was several hooks hanging on the wall, most of them had a backpack hanged on them. She picked a blue backpack, and left the house.

-Mom! I'm going out now! Don't expect me for breakfast!

Outside she walked down to the front gate. Though Augrepht was always plunged into a twilight, it was still too dark for Naquaelin to see anything at all. She fetched a lantern from her backpack and light it. The darkness was thick in the forest where she lived, and only during the afternoon that some light could manage to pass to her house.

-Hmm... Maybe I should visit Madling and his Broodlings. I even have a new bedtime story for them. -Naquaelin reached for her backpack and grabbed a book.
-Let's see... Hmm... I wonder where mom gets this sort of books. Oh well... -Naquaelin pondered for a moment. -I better start looking for them. He's probably somewhere in the forest.

In hopes of finding her friend, she searched all the plausible places he and his spawns could be hanging out. She searched for them throw out the forest until she heard a noise from a distance.

-Madling! Are you there? -She cried. A mad laugher was heard across the forest. Naquaelin guided herself to source of it.

By the river bank, the creature that called himself Madling and his spawns where up to no good. More than fifty, the spiteful black creatures uttered laughs of deviousness.

The Madling and his spawns looked all alike. Black round blob-like creatures with bat wings, a pair of two glowing yellow eyes, a mouth too small for their two huge teeth and a curly antenna on the top of their body. Only that the Madling was slightly bigger, and was dressed with a black long sleeved leather coat.

They look like something like this.

[CENTER]/T\[U] @ [/U]/T\

[CENTER]Fig 1. - Dramatic representation of a Madling spawn.[/CENTER]

-There you are. -Naquaelin picked one of the plushy evil spawns and hugged it tightly.
-Yay! Naquaelin is here, meep! - One of the spawns said with a high pitched voice.
-Yay... -Gasped the spawn Naquaelin was hugging.
-And she brought a bedtime story! - Another one screeched.
-We love you Naquaelin! -They all screamed together.

She putted the incredibly frail spawn on the ground. His gelatinous body was turned into a pancake, but he was still pretty much healthy. After a couple of seconds, he was already starting to inflate back to normal.

-So guys, what are you up to?
-We are poisoning the river using fake Blueberry Jellies, meep!
-That sounds fun, but where did you get them?
-We used your mom's blueberry jelly pies and some necromancy to animate them into living undead Jellies! -Said Madling while his spawns were jumping up and down with happiness.
-You guys are so silly... Mom's pies are not for necromancy practicing. You could had use them to play some pranks on the town folks. Specially Mayor Tomton. Do you know how hard it is to clean jelly off a beard? It's hilarious.
-Meep, she's right!!! - Screamed Madling.
-Don't worry guys. I can help you getting rid of those evil Jellies and we can go ask mom for more pies. -Said Naquaelin. -Ah... And before I forget. Here is the book I promised to you. I'll read it for all of you later on tonight.
-Yay! Your the best Naquaelin! - Said Madling.

After dumping all the one hundred and eighty three poisonous Blueberry Jellies, Naquaelin and Madling went back home.

-So Naquaelin. When are you going to give me your soul? -Asked Madling.
-I have told you before Madling. If I give you my soul we couldn't play together anymore. Your boss wants to torture all the souls you collect and send them to the... What was the place called?
-The Underworld, meep? - Asked Madling.
-Yeah, that's it. The Underworld.
-But it's such a cool place, full of wickedness and darkness. You would love it there.
-You think?
-Yeah sure! Once your there, there's little reason to come back.
-The Underworld is dull... Everyone goes there...
-But there are other Netherworlds you could visit... -Said Madling.
-Such as?
-Let me think... Oh, I know. The Realm of Torment, the Nine Rings of Baator, the Infinite Layers of the Abyss, Hexakaos...
-Wow. Have been in all of them? -Asked Naquaelin.
-Most of them, meep. Many of my cousins live there.

Once they arrived home, Madling jumped to Naquaelin's backpack to avoid being seen. He already had a bad enough experience when Naquaelin's brothers and sisters confused him with a new plushy toy. Passing by the front gate, a shabby mailbox stuffed with all kinds of letters and junk mail. Wild growth covered most of the garden, if one could call it that.

-Mom! I'm back!
-I'm in the backyard. -Said Naquaelin's mother. Her voice was slightly faded.

Naquaelin's mom was putting the clothes up for drying outside while her offspring was doing what they do best. Goofing around.

-Hey big sis. -Said one of the kids. His hand was covered in bandages, with some minor cuts and bruises.
-Good morning Lexalden. How is your your hand today?
-It's a lot better than yesterday. It doesn't even hurt anymore too.
-Next time try not to pet our neighbor's Hellcat okay? Imagine if he swallowed your hand and choked with it? We couldn't afford buying another one to replace it.
-Yes big sis... -He smiled.
-Go back playing with your brothers and sisters Lex.

Once inside, Naquaelin quickly rushed to her bedroom and closely locked her door. She was the only one in the house with a personal room. But it wasn't always like that as she used to share her room with her older brother when they were young. But now that he was gone, she was left with the entire room for herself. While this has some advantages, she still missed her brother.

-Can I come out now? -Asked Madling with a muffed voice.
-Oh, sorry about that. -She opened her backpack quickly and Madling jumped out to the floor, gasping for air. After he regained his breath he jumped to Naquaelin's bed with a single leap.
-I was poked a few times in your back pack... Why do you have to carry so many pointy thing, meep? One almost poked my eyes out!
-Sorry about that. My mirror broke yesterday when the neighbor's Hellcat Bull Rushed me. Though I can't figure why did I put my mirror in my backpack.
-That's okay. I will survive... But do you know what would make me happy? Your soul, meep! -Madling uttered a loud laugh.
-Keep it down! -Whispered Naquaelin. -Please be quiet, while I'm going to ask my mom if she can bake more pies.

Naquaelin left the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen. It was a very modest kitchen, with all the things that makes a kitchen. A Sink, wooden counter, a fridge, a stone well and a kid's corpse with a knife stuck on it's back... Wait a damn minute!

-What are you doing Niffy? -Asked Naquaelin, trying not to step on the blood pool in the middle of the kitchen. -I seriously hope that is not one of my daggers.
The small girl raised her head. Her mouth was covered in blood and her skin was very pale. The tip of the long knife could be seen poking out of her chest.
-Isn't it obvious? I'm playing Crime Scene Investigation with Vida, Deux and Galtir. -Said Niffaelin with a very meek voice.
-Well... You should play those sort of things in the tool shed. And specially not with my daggers. Now I'm the main suspect. -Smiled Naquaelin. -Go play outside... I'll say that I moved your corpse if they interrogate me.
-Sure thing big sis... -She crawled out of the kitchen leaving a trail of blood.
-Try not to stain the carpet Niffy.

Naquaelin searched everywhere for more pies, but there was none to be found. She stepped outside to the backyard where her mom was still doing the laundry.

-Hey mom! Did you baked those pies you said you would? I can't find them anywhere.
-Hmm... That's strange. I recall making one hundred and eighty three pies this morning so I could sell them in the village so I used this month's quota. Don't tell me your brothers ate them all again. I hope they get a tummy ache if that's the case.
-Oh. Mother, excuse me for a minute. -Naquaelin sprinted upstairs to her room.
-Hey Naquaelin. So, did you got more pies?
-I just realized it... You threw away my desserts for the entire month to the river!!! What do you have to say for your defense?
-I'm sorry...
-That won't do it... We have to get those pies back, or it's shrubbery pies for dessert for the rest of the month... And I certainly don't like dirt in my pie!
-If only we could capture them, me and the other Broodlings could turn the jellies back to their original pie selfs, meep. -Said Madling.
-I know! I'll ask Neiade! She said it before: "if it's in the river, that it's just a matter of time till I caught it." -Said Naquaelin. -She's always at the pier, so I'll pay her a visit. And you, try to catch any of those evil jellies pies or whatever.

Naquaelin walked downstairs. The police had arrived and was questioning Naquaelin's mom in the living room.

-So you say someone entered the house and murdered your daughter in the kitchen and you didn't noticed? -Asked the good cop.
-I still haven't said a thing. I've just let you guys in to report a grand theft pie. -Said Naquaelin's mom.
-But we received a call from this house reporting a murder, and we could clearly see the CSI analyzing the crime scene, which by the way it's just at your front door. -Said the bad cop.
-That's just the kids playing. You know how kids are. Always doing mischief.

Naquaelin passed by the living room's entrance and said:

-I can't believe Niffy called the cops... It's the third time this week. Why can't they call the Medical Emergency staff just for once?
-Miss Jenasia, do you know this woman? -Asked the bad cop.
-Yeah, it's my daughter. You know, she's a bit demented, but she's a good girl.
-Mom! Don't tell people I don't know things about me! Anyway... I'm going to the pier. Don't expect me for lunch.
-Sure thing dear.

Naquaelin run down to the pier. Once she got there, she saw her best friend Neiade. Neiade is a blue haired girl with just about the same age as Naquaelin, she was dressed with a light purple and orange dress with pointy shoes and a pointy hat. She was sitting on the edge of the pier, holding a long object that looked like a staff. An untrained eye would say she was fishing. And clearly she was... Naquaelin drawn closer and approached her friend.

-Hey Neiade, what are you doing?
-Isn't it obvious? I'm fishing... - She replied. -Do have to ask that each and every time you see me fishing?
-Yes, otherwise I can't be sure your really fishing. - Naquaelin sited down at the pier and watched closely. - I jut wanted to ask you something and...
-Yeah sure... But please be quiet or you will scare the fish.

For almost two hours both girls waited quietly, hardly moving at all. It was almost noon when something got the bait.

-Alright! I caught something! - Screamed Neiade.

As she pulled her catch out of the water, she gasped, because instead of a fish a strange Blue Blob was hanging on the hook. In shock, Neiade muttered.

-What... The heck... Is that...
-Isn't it obvious? It's a jellyfish! - Said Naquaelin. -And you call yourself a master angler. Bah...


[CENTER]Fig. 2 - Dramatic representation of a "blueberry jellyfish".[/CENTER]

She took it off the hook and dropped it on the pier floor. The blue jiggly thing was still alive and splashing. Neiade turned her back to it and stared to the river.

-Something very "unfishy" is going on here... I never seen such a weird species like this on this river. Maybe a couple of blue shrimps, but never a blue jellyfish. Maybe it's a mutant... -Pondered Neiade.
-Hmm... It still tastes like the blueberry pies my mom bakes.
-What the? -Neiade tried to hold her insides in, as she witnessed in horror that her best friend ate a big chunk of the jellyfish's body.
-My mouth is all stingy...
-Naquaelin! What have you done!
-What? I was hungry. You should fish more of this, they make wonderful desserts. By the way, do you have a napkin?


[CENTER]Fig. 3 - Dramatic representation of a half eaten "blueberry jellyfish".[/CENTER]

Suddenly, the noxious effect of eating a probably poisonous jellyfish kicked in. As Naquaelin dropped to the floor.
-Naquaelin! Are you alright?
-I think I'm going to be sick...

"Several hours later and a visit to the local Clinic..."

-...give her this pills twice a day and she might just barely live till her twenties. - Said the Shabby Doctor.
-But doctor, she's only seventeen! -Said Neiade in shock.
-And that gives her enough time to write her own will. Please pass by the receptionist for the bill. NEXT!

While in the hallway of the clinic, Neiade looked for her friend. Many people were waiting for the Doctor to call them. Half of them had already passed away...

-Naquaelin, I have spoke with the doctor. He said you will be fine.
-That's good to know... -She coughed, and a little of blood stained her lips. -Can I have that napkin now?
-Here you go. Now let's go to reception so we can leave.

At the reception, the receptionist nodded as she gave Neiade the bill.

-Fifty Platinum! What have you scoundrels done to her to ask this much??? Preformed a surgery on her? -She screamed, outraged.
-Where did this stitches came from... -Said Naquaelin pointing at her bellybutton. -My memory is all fuzzy thanks to the drugs... I don't remember taking my appendix out.
-Besides food poisoning, you friend here suffered from a chronic case of appendicitis, which we had to operate. It's a miracle she survived. According to our records she last visited us ten years ago complaining of the same symptoms.
-I'll pay then... But I must protest though. Because while she was here you guys clearly forgot to check her brain... -Sighed Neiade.
-Can I have another dose of drugs please? -Said Naquaelin, while harassing a passing doctor.
-Naquaelin. Let's go!

Right outside the clinic, Madling crawled out of a shrub in panic. And right after him, a bunch of Blueberry Jellies with lots of teeth and a bad attitude.

-Help me Naquaelin, I'm being chased by Spiteful Jellies! -Screeched Madling.
-What... The heck... Is that... -Gasped Neiade while pointing at Madling. -And why are there so many Jellyfishes after it?
-No time to explain. We have to kill these pests! Or else I won't have any desserts until next month.
-I'm just not going ask...

As the Jellies approached the two girls, Naquaelin draws from her backpack a pair of daggers while Neiade reached for her rod. The clash was about to start.

[B]End of part one.[/B]


  1. Noa Brightington's Avatar
    How was this able to pose the entire entry on the preview page, and how the HELL was this posted back in 1970?
  2. Lytha's Avatar
    No idea about the preview thing (what do you mean by that?), but the 1970 might be related to the word "banned" below his name.
  3. Noa Brightington's Avatar
    Don't see any 'banned' thing on my end. But when this post showed up in the random blog thing on the front page, it showed the WHOLE thing, not just the first paragraph.
    Well crap, when did Kalden get banned? No point in asking why though.
  4. Lytha's Avatar
    Right, the "banned" isn't written explicitely in this section of the site. You can tell by his greyed out name though.

    His last activity was on 20-02-2008, 14:32, so my guess is that this is the date of his ban.