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Tyris Requiem

Me *****ing about AB and stuffs...

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Ok after seeing so much fail in ab I have decided to post a long *** rant were i *****, whine and generally QQ about all things AB.

AB is really the only place I can have casual pvp funz with friends atm since we generally don't have enough people on for anything else and PuG's fail so hard.

Item 1: Maps.

I mean come on Kurzik I know u like JQ/FA but what the **** are you guys doing!? The map is on boring Ancestral pretty all the time atm... and Ancestral has **** gameplay tbh (lol mario karts around teh fort). Occasionally I see Grenz but then its generally back to Ancestral again in 4 hours time. I mean come on I kinda like Saltspray (magic dragon shrine is win ;D) but they never get played unless some of the stronger luxon guilds play kurzik side to push the map back.

Item 2: Team composition.

AB is srs bsns! So tab invite groups... (you know who you are) gtfo my AB nao! These groups are basically complete ****... since they are generally composed of 4 terrible players with even more terrible bars. They are not organized so generally don't have a nuker or monk which makes them completely almost useless on ancestral which is the map 90% of the time anyways. They generally get wiped early on in the match and then split up and don't really contribute anything...

Good Teams generally have the following **** in them:

1 Frontline
1 Nuker
1 Whatever Midliner u feel like running...
1 Monk

If you are not doing it like this YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG....

Item 3: Bad Nukers

I am going to ***** most about this because this is the slot pugs normally fill... because it supposed to be easy... you can't be terribad at nuker... right? WRONG!

I mean come on gaiz its nuker. You liek nuke npcs n stuff... ITS NOT HARD. In fact I consider it to be the *****role of any AB team and find it boring so will try to avoid playing it if at all possible. Anyway back to topic... Since nuker is so retardedly easy to play its generally not that hard to find equally retarded players.

Firstly if you are running Assassins Promise and Double Dragon teleport and suicide stuff I will either kick you out or ask you to run somthing at least semi decent like I don't know say... MB/SF/SH. Also Star Burst eles can go the hell back to PvE... I don't actually care if you claim you got r12 luxon with that **** its still terrible.

Also you equipment. I don't care how many people tell me Kerrsh's Staff makes an amazing weapon (even if you happen to rank me with your flashy r9 tiger) YOU ARE WRONG. Seriously... get a Staff for attunements, 40/40, high set and ****ing defence set. The defence set is particularly useful for the mesmer npc's who cast backfire on you if you are weilding a caster weapon. That means its YOUR job to switch to a defence set when you nuke a shrine/gate npcs.

Also go E/P I don't care if you want to take Flame Djinn's Haste "Fall Back!" is better...

Item 4: The base Defender

He kills you if you run at him and try and kill him with your sword... k?

Item 5: Sins and Dervs

Assassin's You guys are the worst... I don't care if you think you are naruto YOU ARE NOT A NINJA? k? Don't teleport into a shrine with no prot on you... particularly shrines with lots of eles YOU WILL DIE... Also run a bar that has say an IAS an attack chain that actually kills **** along with say more than 300 health.

Dervs I know you PvE guys like Avatars and ****... but... RUN WOUNDING STRIKE ITS IS ACTUALLY GOOD... (or at least somthing that is semi good like Reapers Sweep or Onslaught) Avatars are **** in PvP other than that I don't have much to say... oh yea don't spec into Earth Prayers Either its pretty much useless...

Finding good dervs and sins is like finding a needle in a haystack srsly. So I basically tend not to bother and never PuG a sin or a derv.

Item 6: Paragons

Go back to your PvE imbagons and 8v8. This is 4v4 I DO NOT WANT YOU ON MY TEAM. So in simple terms gtfo my AB.

Item 7: Wars/Monks

Actually I'm not gonna ***** at you guys because I don't play with bad monks/wars most of the time by rolling monk or war myself and getting a friend/PuG I know is good to play the other. Although i have seen enough Defy Pain wars with Dolyak Signet and monks with Spirits to know that scrubs are never in short supply especially in AB.

Item 8: Necros

I know you think you are being useful by bringing rotting flesh. You are NOT... end of story. It covers all the deepwounds making them a ***** to remove as well as adding pressure to your own team.

Also minion rubber banding is *** and makes B rage.

Item 9: Touchers

Touchers are **** end of story. No... I'm not going to argue this with anyone... touching is bad dps... bad disruption... bad in general tbh.

Touchers also make B rage more.

Ok so thats my rage over for now...


  1. Noa Brightington's Avatar
    I gave up trying to actually do AB with actual intent to win, ... like... over a year ago.
    This has been said before, and will be said again, the problem is the reward level. It's catch 22ing itself to death, which ironicly, is the reason that JQ used to be so dead.
    The good players want to get a decent reward.
    But you can't GET to having decent rewards unless you have good players. The time it takes for good players to get in, do well, and start getting into maps that give them decent rewards, they're usually done with playing the game for the day(3-4 hours tops), and thus, it reverts back to crappy players.

    I remember going with some people in our guild years ago, and the one guy had a good quick kill build where he could pretty much solo every shrine but the warrior one. E/A.
    But there's that other problem. Most of the good ABers have gotten all their kurz faction, and are done with that side, unless, as you say, they're on alt accounts and are playing kurz for a while for ****s and grins.
    But they get so crappy points out of it, they're usually better off with JQ or DZSC.

    I suppose it could be worse. Amatz could still give 10 points a runner in.
  2. kokabel's Avatar
    god I hate minions so hard.