PC Gaming News
View RSS Feed

Eshenda Terrell

I'm a disabled gamer.

Rate this Entry
I don't talk about it very much, generally because it's not relevant. I have certain aids that allow me to overcome problems I have with my hands and eyesight using a computer in general. For instance I'm typing this using a speech to text program and the mouse I use is an MMO gaming mouse which allows me to play with only my right hand. I also have a Nostromo keypad which allows me to play with only my left hand. This way I can alternate hands depending on which of my hands is least painful and has the fewest muscle spasms.

Guild Wars one was very accessible. Although PVP was generally impossible, simply because I'm just not fast enough to beat another player, I could do almost everything else. I started playing a healer because that way I didn't have to worry about which direction we were going in the instance; I could just follow and heal. Herp derp. I could also click on a player and set to follow if I needed to rest my hands. In solo play I could click on the ground where I wanted my character to go and wouldn't need to hold on to the mouse.

Guild Wars two is also pretty accessible. I don't have the click to move or the ability to follow but generally it isn't an issue that I would want to kick up a fuss about. SPVP is generally impossible, as always because I'm simply not fast enough to get my skills off before another player has killed me. WVW is generally a good alternative, until I get ganked and killed off one-on-one because in a duel I just can't win. I'm too slow. However using siege and running in groups I am generally useful and have got my gift of battle.

Grouping up with people, random pug groups, is pretty much impossible. They expect perfection and having to stop to explain (using the keyboard to type - hands don't work well, remember) that I can't always move as fast to do their "run through" to get to the next boss every single time I joined a group got old fast. The kind of group that I can work with the ones who do the instances as intended. The ones that go in and kill all the trash leaving a clear run for wipes. Grouping up with people like that I've managed to get my gift of thorns from TA, but that is the only original dungeon I have run so far because of bad experiences with pugs.

I tried fractals in a pug. I had read up, I knew what to expect, and it was a total and utter failure. The only time I've ever managed to finish my monthly when fractals were requisite was with my guildies. I didn't have to type to communicate because we were on team speak. They took it steady, didn't try to skip content, and accepted my mistakes without any rage. Even then it wasn't easy for me for reasons that tie into my next point.

Jumping puzzles. It is impossible for me to be 100% accurate every time I move my character. I don't mind solo playing in jumping puzzles where a mistake affects only me. It'll take me longer to get through, but as long as the mechanics of the puzzle don't penalise me for having to take my time I will eventually win. Puzzles such as the wintersday event are impossible. And that actually doesn't bother me too much because it's optional content and as such I just miss out. Putting puzzles in instances and dungeons that penalise me for my lack of ability to move the mouse and hit a button and watch affects around me and react to them at the same time to a high degree of accuracy does annoy me, because I just can't do it.

The lost Shores event took too long. By the time we got to the end boss I was exhausted and my hands were sore with muscles jumping. I was losing the ability to focus on the screen. I was also being nagged to stop playing and take a break but was unable to do so because I would have missed the end chest. Not that I got anything good from the end chest because I was so tired I kept dying and having to run back and so even though I got gold reward the chest gave me rubbish. No free precursor for me; I hadn't done enough direct damage on the boss.

In the race between the tortoise and the hare I am the tortoise. Give me a set goal and I will patiently work towards it. I have in my inventory all three of the gifts I need to make my legendary. The only thing I am missing is my precursor. I have not bought gold, I have not played the Trading Post, I have farmed and gradually collected everything I needed. Since I began playing I have had three exotics drop in total, and that includes the Karka chest from Lost Shores. I've only completed eight fractals in total. I only say this to point out that I have proof that I have put the hours in slowly and patiently. It took me six weeks to farm the hundred gold I needed for icy runestones; I can't face four times that time at that level of farming to buy my precursor from the trading Post.

I hope the scavenger hunt for precursors is added to the game sooner rather than later because at this point I see it being the only way I will ever get my legendary. Having said that I really hope it doesn't involve any of the things that I can't access as a disabled player or all my last hopes of patiently working, just as I have been, towards a set goal of my legendary will rest in the mystic forge and random numbers.
Guild Wars 2


  1. Mawgleah's Avatar
    If it weren't for great guild mates, I'm not sure I would still be playing GW2. I also disabilities which preclude me from rushing through content and participating in the jumping puzzles. I too miss not being able to follow or click to travel. Thankfully my guildies know I tend to run amok and even though they tease, it's all good natured and I feel privileged that they let me tag along. I will most likely never have a legendary weapon as I don't think I picked up a precursor during my Lost Shores run either, but I've long since let go any anger or frustration that knowing I am unable to accomplish certain tasks use to bring, both in game and in life. After all, this is just a game and I play, not only for the enjoyment of the game itself, but for the wonderful friendships I have formed over the years. Such is the true gifts of a social game.

    Bless you and keep up your good spirits and sportsmanship! And here's a second "Aye" on having precursors provided in scavenger hunts sooner than later.
  2. Eshenda Terrell's Avatar
    My Guild mates have become an extended family over the years, but then I've known most of them since before Guild Wars one was released. I was surprised to find out that a few of them didn't know I was disabled and only learned of it by reading this blog. Yes, like you I probably wouldn't be playing without this great group of friends.

    I am firmly of the opinion that it is not what happens in life that will make or break me. I have the power to choose how I will react. If I can't do something then I can't. There is no point getting upset or angry about it.

    If you get the chance, then join a big group running about in WVW, especially if you can get onto (and cope with) team speak with them. It is seriously good fun. Bless you also for your good attitude and having the strength to post about your disability on a public forum.

    Hopefully the "Aye's" will be heard.
    Updated 02-02-2013 at 12:09 by Eshenda Terrell (typo)