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This is just a funny story I thought of while at work last night (it was very, very slow) and I decided to type it up.

The sun rolled in through the windows, gently warming the small hut in which Preston Nightdeath and Susie Dear lived on the Zoo Crew's guild hall. As the morning sun rose, so did Preston. Lazily, the necromancer rolled out of bed and stumbled for the bathroom. After a few groggy, confused moments, he realized he was missing something...

The high pitched scream woke Susie with a start, and she jumped out of bed with a haste to find the source. Before she could take more than a few steps, the bathroom door swung open to a sight that left her speechless.

A thin, pale skinned, green haired green scarred necromancer stood there in their underwear. Not an uncommon sight for Susie to find in the morning except for one minor detail... The necromancer before her was a woman.

"Who are you!?" Susie bellowed out in a burly, deep voice. The sound of her voice caused her to clasp both hands over her mouth. She caught a glimpse of her hands as she did so. Large, rough fingers, all attached to a meaty arm. Susie looked down to examine the rest of her when it suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. She was in the body of a man.


The two sat across from each other at the breakfast table. Neither of them had much of an appetite, but eating seemed to keep them occupied from asking questions. Though once the plates were cleared, they had little else to do but ask those questions.

"What the hell happened?!?!" Preston exclaimed, breaking the silence like a stone through glass.

"I-... I don't know. Do you think it happened to anyone else?"

"Maybe. We should go find out just in ca-"

"NO!" Susie burst out. "I mean, what if it is only us? I don't want to be seen like this..." She ran her hand over her now shaved head and looked dejectedly to the ground.

A moment of silence fell between the two before Preston stated, while adjusting his top, "At least whoever or whatever did this to us had the common decency to change our cloths to suit us..."

Susie looked over her armor resting on the ground in the corner and nearly burst into tears.


The sun now rose to its peak as the couple headed for the old lion statue overlooking the sea. The others were already there, and from the looks of it, suffering from the same affliction.

A young mesmer raised his hand and waved to the two, yelling, “Oh Preston! Little brother! Come here and let your big sister take a look.” Lysandra, who was now a charming looking young man with short, wavy hair, adjusted her new mask and grinned.

“Not the time for jokes Lysandra,” Preston retorted, which caused the mesmer to pout. “Okay, so I see you’ve all been… changed as well.”

Revance stepped forward, recognizable by his sun bleached dreadlocks under a bandana and his ranger mask, which he seldom wore in the cities. In a feminine voice he said, “Yeah, and I don’t much like it either.”

From behind Revance, a robbed figure spoke up from underneath a concealing hood in a deep, rumbling voice, “The sooner we figure out what caused this and fix it the better.”

Susie stepped forward and hugged the robed man, saying in a comforting voice, “Soria, honey, we’ll figure this out.”

“Well until we do, I’m keeping this hood up. I’m… I’m-,” She hesitated to complete her sentence, but finally whispered, “Bald.”

Susie pat her back and replied, “Its okay honey, I miss my hair too. At least you have a hood to wear.”

A Canthan man with short pink hair politely cleared his throat to gain everyone’s attention. His mismatched clothing caused Preston and Susie to stare for a moment before it actually sunk in who it was. Carrie Nurse, the once nimble and radiant ritualist said, “So, what exactly do you propose we do about this? I don’t think any of us want to look like this for the rest of our lives.”

Lysandra, who was now looking into a fancy Elonian hand mirror, said, “Well, I do make a hansom man though.” Looking up she saw a few questioning glances and hastily added, “But you’re right. I don’t want to stay like this.”

“Why?” The question came from the short white haired assassin, who had been rather quiet up until this point.

Carrie turned to her friend and asked, “What do you mean ‘why?’ You can’t seriously want to stay a woman can you Art?”

“Well it certainly was a surprise this morning, and seemed unwelcome. But I can still perform as well as I could yesterday. So, you know…” Art trailed off with a shoulder shrug.

The group stared at Art with shared curiosity as he turned and left the conversation to do some exercises. Preston was the first to get back on track and said, “That aside, I’m sorry Carrie but I don’t know how to answer your question. We have to do something, but what I don’t know.”

“Oh Priscilla, who put you in charge anyway?” Lysandra questioned with a grin.

“What did you call me?” Preston asked with a hiss. Revance giggled at the situation, but abruptly stopped as the sound of his laughter gave him an eerie feeling.

“Don’t laugh at your baby sister there Revalerie, it’s not nice.” The comment was met with a glare that Lysandra simply ignored.

“Gee, you seem to be taking this very lightly Lys-… man-dra,” Preston struggled to find a way to twist her name.

“Lysander. If you need a boys name for me, I’d go with Lysander,” the mesmer corrected.

“Right… Lysander. Anyway, you might want to take this situation a little more seriously. It’s not like putting on one of your silly little masks or anything…” Preston placed his hand on his chin to think for a moment about what he just said, and let out a shout as he came to a conclusion. “I think I know what happened!”


The group found their way to the Temple of Ages without any trouble. The statues of the five gods were alight with activity.

“Are you sure about this?” Lysandra asked from the back of the pack.

“Yes I’m sure. Now get up there and conjure a representative.” Preston’s voice held a weight of bitterness in it now, as he pointed to the statue of Lyssa. Lysandra sighed and walked before the statue of her goddess, kneeling down in respect.

“Lyssa, twin goddess of beauty and illusions, I beseech thee. I seek guidance through this mask and from my heart.”

Two pink lights slowly emerged from the faces of the statue and danced around before the group. They then swirled together and formed the face of Lyssa’s muse. Her voice rang out in stereo, as if two women were talking simultaneously.

“And what can the goddess do for you today my child?”

Before Lysandra could answer, Preston stepped forward with his arms crossed and a mean scowl across his face. “We are not amused…”


The setting sun cast an orange glow over the sea port city of Lion’s Arch. Susie ran her hand across Preston’s chest as she listened to his heartbeat. Holding her in a warm embrace, Preston rested against the lion statue. He held out his hand and looked at it, glad to be back to his normal self again.

Revance was busy combing Soria’s hair, which fell to her waist. “Tell me again, my love,” She demanded sweetly.

Revance sighed and answered, “Your hair is one of your most beautiful features. I would throw myself on my own spear if you were to lose it.” Though the response sounded forced and repetitive, Soria still smiled happily.

Susie looked from the married couple to Preston and asked, “Would you throw yourself on a spear if I lost my hair?”

Preston laughed and ran his fingers through her hair, then leaned in to kiss the top of her head. Susie balled her hand into a fist and placed it to Preston’s jaw and threatened teasingly, “You didn’t answer me.”

Art lounged back in the grass, his eyes closed. Carrie watched him rest and admired his carefree will. He seemed as unaffected by the day’s events as if it were any other day.

Opening his eyes, Art caught Carrie’s gaze and sat up. “Something wrong?”

Carrie quickly turned away and looked out over the sea. “Oh, no. It was… Nothing.” She bit her lower lip nervously and closed her eyes.

“Alright then,” Art obliviously replied as he lie back down again.

Lysandra looked over the group and sighed. Looking into her mirror she asked, “Some people just can’t take a joke, am I right?”

From the other side of the mirror, Lysander replied, “Yeah, they seem to take the little things just a bit too seriously…”


  1. 's Avatar
    Hilarious story, I was laughing out loud in RL :laugh: A very nice twist with Lysandra and Lysander and the mirror. Great stuff :thumbsup: