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I haven't posted anything here in months. But with some events in my life right now, this might be the place to just toss my thoughts and keep things "sane".

The last couple weeks have not been good. And have resulted in me being quite "down".

It actually started back in January when Lancelot, my greyhound, started limping. I took him in to see the vet and they found that he had arthritis. Not a big deal. I deal with arthritis as well. They put him on some meds for a few weeks and we started him on a presciption dog food that contains ingredients to help his arthritis.

Fast forward to mid-March. We had just had two of my daughters ratties (aka raffins aka domesticated rats) in for removal of some tumors. And then Lance started limping again. So another vet appointment. This time with the main vet, Dr. Kurley. After taking some X-ray's, which Lance did not like at all, he tells me to get Lance back in as soon as possible for surgery. He is concerned that Lance may have bone cancer.

So Lance goes in for surgery the next Monday. While waiting for the biopsy report, Chloe develops yet another tumor. And she gets very listless. Not a good sign. I take here to see Doc and he gives me some medicine for her. We lost her that week. Her sister Brandy (who we adopted at the same time) sulked for several days.

The biopsy on Lance comes back positive. Not much joy in my household upon hearing this news. Doc Kurley tried to find a university in the area that had an opening in a research program. It's my understanding that some of the area universities used to get funding to study cancer treatment. Bone cancer in dogs is identical to bone cancer in humans so they are able to give the medications and treatments to them. And then study the effects. I never really wanted Lance to be a "research subject" but the research uses the same treatments and meds that are used on humans, only they are trying to also find a cure for cancer. Unfortunately, there are no research groups at the moment. The government has cut all funding in this area.

There's not a lot we can do. Lance is on some meds but it will only get us a few more months with him. The cancer itself, as with a human, is untreatable. The only thing that can be done is to make the patient comfortable until the end. I guess the only blessing with it being an animal is that we are able to choose the time when he leaves, rather than watching the cancer eat him away a little at a time.

I find myself at times just up and crying about it. I don't really know why either. It isn't like Lance is the first dog I've ever owned. He's the fifth actually. I think the difference is that I know that I'm going to have to put him down someday soon. All the others except one died quickly. I did have another that was put to sleep when I was a lot younger. The ones that died quick, it was over and that was it. But Lance is still healthy, other than the cancer. He still gets up and greets me when I come home. He wags his tail, begs at dinner time, loves treats and chewies...

...I'm going to enjoy the time that's left. It's all I can do.