Hey there, thanks for tuning in.
*Camera 1 tracks Art Yi Mor who strolls past blazing fireplace towards velvet-draped window where there are snowflakes falling outside; pipe in hand, smoking jacket on*
See at this time of year, we all like to talk about fun and games. Phew! Do I know how busy it can get whilst at work. That's why instead of having all my friends come over at odd hours to interrupt my Off-Topic time I decided to put together this little publication.
*Walks to leather chair, takes a seat and opens out a broadsheet newspaper*
I like to call it OSSaGaN, but you can call it anything you like. One little scamp once told me he called it tomorrows trash
*Cut to facing camera 2 with a firm but fair smile - back to camera 1*
In here you will find all the little tit-bits of joy that rumour mills and marketing strategies dish out to keep you, the consumer, hungry for more.
Feel free to co-author this journal, keeping your peers and your idols abreast of contemporary knowledge from the gaming, console, PC and handheld market.
*Stands up and walks over to the drinks cabinet, starts to make a Tanqueray and Tonic*
Now every now and then a little piece of information, like the whispers from an angel from Heaven, will come out and you'll think to yourself "Gee Whizz! What swell information, I bet all the guys will want to talk about this in the big room!!".
*Walks back to leather seat glass in hand with ice pinging the crystal glass*
Now you may be right, perhaps the OFT room will want to discuss the finer details of excellence from your discovery. It might be that you've found something that will alter lives, save babies and generally make the world free from communism. However! Prior to posting in there and getting in other people's way, why not try here first - if it's good enough I'm sure some people will point out that others may wish to elaborate upon it, why it's almost like you are a minor celebrity breaking the news to those closest to you first.
*Rings tabletop bell for servant*
So if you care about gaming, and I know you do, then you'll utilise this thread to make the world a better and happier place for you and others like you.
*Attractive French maid enters room with whipped cream and feathers*
Now run along now and remember: The One-Stop Shop for all your Gaming News thanks you for your hard efforts and wishes you all the luck you'll need to achieve your full potential.
*Maid whispers into Art Yi Mor's ear - Art smiles*
Close the door on your way out and
Poll and presuppositions prior to placing this post.