Pants-wearing sponge blamed for kids' poor attention spans

[MixedVariety]

Kids can do dumb things, for sure. When my oldest daughter was 3 years old, she got her head stuck between two of the balusters on my parents' staircase. They don't realize that ears allow for easy insertion of the head, but that reversing it is a problem.

As for a fridge, well...the adults who stupidly throw it out without removing the door or at least the latch are the ones who should be trapped inside it, not some little kid.

[Rob Van Der Sloot]

Uhh... I hope that's not the original audio track hahaha.

Nah, I searched forever to find the original. But the internet is filled with just the parodies, since they are so popular. Couldn't find the original anywhere, but I remember seeing it.

They had other stuff like:

What to do when you're lost
What to do if your house is on fire
Don't swim when it's storming
Don't pet strange dogs
Don't be in a hurry to build your tree house
What to do if you catch on fire
How to tread water
Have an ump ref your baseball games
Don't get mad at your goalie for letting in a bad goal
Put reflectors on your bike or be runover
You can learn to water ski if you keep trying
Don't tell a stranger where you live
Don't blame your brother
Don't pull the fire alarm unless there's a fire
How to stop a nose bleed
Don't skate on thin ice
Never trust a mesmer
Don't take drugs without your parents there.
It's okay to be a chicken if your smart
Maybe you stink at baseball because you need glasses
Don't run away from home
Don't hide in the fridge
What to do if someone passes out
Don't jump your bike over downed power lines
Don't call the fire department from a burning building
Girls can skateboard better too
Stealing is wrong
Don't go with strangers
Wear a life jacket
Don't stay out all day in the sun or you'll turn into a lobster.
Don't eat junk food
Blind kids can find lost kittens too
Protect your head
Don't paint your bike in the garage
Don't try to beat the train

Some of it is good advise, others are just silly. I still remember the confusion as a kid, after watching half an hour of lasers and things blow up, to suddenly get a wise lesson that had nothing to do with lasers and explosions. If anything, GI Joe taught me that anything can be solved by having the right military equipment and superior firepower.

[raspberry jam]

They had other stuff like:

I'm almost convinced that you made one of those up... Yes I read the whole list haha. It's the best tip of them all though.

IIRC other shows used to have stuff like that too. It used to be very popular for a while, but seems to have gone away since. I guess after watching today's cartoons, children don't have the attention span required to absorb these important life lessons...

[MixedVariety]

Never trust a mesmer? Thumbs up.

[Lensor]

I only take drugs with my parents present so guess I'm fine then.

[RD]

Never trust a mesmer? Thumbs up.

SIR, YOU FORGET YOURSELF!

Wait, kids actually get their hands stuck in banisters? Okay, I can't be that surprised; I almost got lots of parts of my body stuck in lots of random places. If it's not obvious at this point, I was (...am) one of those kids who did the opposite of what he was told. I had to learn / experience it for myself. "Don't stick your finger in sockets." "Hey, I wonder what that feels like? *BZZT* Oh." (True story.)

[Feannag]

Nah, I searched forever to find the original. But the internet is filled with just the parodies, since they are so popular. Couldn't find the original anywhere, but I remember seeing it.

They had other stuff like:

What to do when you're lost
What to do if your house is on fire
Don't swim when it's storming
Don't pet strange dogs
Don't be in a hurry to build your tree house
What to do if you catch on fire
How to tread water
Have an ump ref your baseball games
Don't get mad at your goalie for letting in a bad goal
Put reflectors on your bike or be runover
You can learn to water ski if you keep trying
Don't tell a stranger where you live
Don't blame your brother
Don't pull the fire alarm unless there's a fire
How to stop a nose bleed
Don't skate on thin ice
Never trust a mesmer
Don't take drugs without your parents there.
It's okay to be a chicken if your smart
Maybe you stink at baseball because you need glasses
Don't run away from home
Don't hide in the fridge
What to do if someone passes out
Don't jump your bike over downed power lines
Don't call the fire department from a burning building
Girls can skateboard better too
Stealing is wrong
Don't go with strangers
Wear a life jacket
Don't stay out all day in the sun or you'll turn into a lobster.
Don't eat junk food
Blind kids can find lost kittens too
Protect your head
Don't paint your bike in the garage
Don't try to beat the train

Some of it is good advise, others are just silly. I still remember the confusion as a kid, after watching half an hour of lasers and things blow up, to suddenly get a wise lesson that had nothing to do with lasers and explosions. If anything, GI Joe taught me that anything can be solved by having the right military equipment and superior firepower.

[Mraezk]

Looney Toons taught me that sometimes it is okay for a man (rabbit) to kiss another man (pig/duck/bald) if it is funny. Also that Coyotes worked hard for their money.